Paris- Love Letter to a Stranger

Je T'aime Paris

Yes Paris is romantic! Love is just in the air; it's true! How can anyone deny it? The art, the architecture, the culture sprawled all over the walls and ceilings and floors of every corner. From the touristy places to every little coffee shop on the paths less travelled; from the elite French restaurants to the lanes selling the Asian food or the cheap pizza slices being sold by Italians; Parisians love Love and Loving!

Eiffel all day

In my four days in Paris; I had it all. There were the late night walks with endless conversations, staying up late to watch the Eiffel sparkle, lying in the parks aimlessly, drinking coffee and tasting exotic chocolates in the quaint streets, the serenade from a stranger and my taking a leap of faith and falling in love and finding the happy ending. My 4 days in Paris were right out of the classic Audrey Hepburn movies with a twist.

My Airbnb flat in Paris was in one of the tallest buildings and I was on the 25th floor. I had romanticised meeting Mr. Eiffel since I can't even remember. And my first view of him sparkling like diamonds in all his glory had left me frozen in awe. With the Sacre Coeur on my right glowing in soft yellow lights on the hill and the Eiffel glittering I had sat up in the chilli balcony till late in the night. Very late.

No matter who says what about the Eiffel, I promise you, it will take your breath away. I spent a whole day just looking at it from all angles and spent the evening on the lawns, watching it come to life as the sun set. No I didn't do the Louvre as it takes a whole day and I don't like the idea of being forced to follow a path, when I have limited time and am so keen on the Impressionist era.

Limburg Orange at Sacre Coeur

The next day I went to Sacre Coeur (Sacred Heart) Cathedral. Once you take a day pass in Paris, you can use it absolutely anywhere for public transport. To reach Sacre Coeur, you need to first get to Montmatre. The best stop is Pigalle (Metro Stop). Here is the funny part; you need to walk past Moulin Rouge to get to the Sacred Heart Cathedral! IRONY eh?

Once you take the Funicular, you will reach the mountain top with the view of the entire Paris. And again, it will take your breath away! I was very lucky cause not only was the cathedral absolutely gorgeous on the inside, but I was there at just the right time. The choir was singing. Wait, now picture this; you are at the top of a mountain, with the view of the Eiffel, the wind whistling in your ears, the grandeur of the Sacre Couer behind you, you turn around and enter into a cathedral with frescos and the sun shining in from the dome on top and the choir singing with the voices of the angels. It was ethereal and heavenly. I felt overwhelmed and for no particular reason, my eyes welled up. I think I was just so at peace. Each wall, each turn was full of history and angels and Jesus.

Art everywhere in Paris

My friend Craig had flown in from London to join me and as I walked out from there with a bit of a heavy heart, I was avoiding all eye contact with him. When suddenly the air was filled with the joy and sounds of fanfare. Up on the steps of the cathedral, a brass band of old chaps in Orange tees and White pants was revving up the air with "Angels by Robbie Williams". Oh how my mood becomes a slave to music! Forget minutes, in seconds I was already dancing with the women of the band. Craig started talking to one of the players Peter, who ended up knowing about Travelling Boots! Wait, What? So I meet a Dutch Brass Band in Paris and one of the guys knows about me and has read Travelling Boots??? Can you ever imagine my shock? It was my first spotting ever!! Peter introduced me to Claudia and the others in the band as the Indian woman who travels alone and invited us over to Moulin Rouge for their show at night.

Moulin Rouge

I went through the day almost absent mindedly and even though Craig was tired; he was a darling to come back for me. But at night.... the only busy looking Moulin Rouge area; was a full blown naughty street for adults only (wink wink!) with neon lights and all sorts of description of naked shows. So what did I do? Craig and I took crazy, creepy, naughty pictures infront of the red neon lit Moulin Rouge windmill (Haha!) But in the roll of all that fun we forgot about the band momentarily, and then suddenly tried to look for the sound of a brass band. We had no idea where they were so started asking strangers for the Irish Bar..well that's all we knew really!

Soon we heard them... ummm.. the cacophony of the trumpets honestly.. and Craig and I dashed towards the sound like the rats of the Pied Piper. And sadly our luck had run out; the band had just finished their last tune! But I was glad to get a warm welcome from familiar faces (not really.. I was terribly heart-broken to have missed all the music). Claudia and Peter, took me by the shoulders and pointed me towards George, the band manager and asked me to hustle him..George looked serious so I mentally prepared a whole speech to ensure I impressed him so maybe they'd play one more tune.

Claudia and me

But I was wrong, George could barely hear me when I spoke to him, but he knew I was kind of pleading for music and stepped out into the area where the whole band was. Wait, picture this again.. a group of musicians, all over the age of 40.. who had been playing since morning on all sorts of percussion instruments, some were too tired and drunk and sleeping on the tables. He came out and yelled in the midst of them; asking them to wake up for an Indian girl wanted to hear them play. And you know what...they all got up.. cheered for me.. made a circle around me and played Angels for me.. Only for me again... While I stood in the middle.

I was in Paris, travelling alone, and now had a Dutch band called Limburg Orange playing me their favourite tune in the wee hours of the morning.. all looking at me ... tired and yet smiling... For me! Yes only for me! They serenaded me! My first ever Serenade! I broke into tears... cmmmon.. wont you? If you had a band of over 20 strangers Serenade you the to a song called Angels while you were a solo traveller in Paris?

Wait; this wasn't even the best part.. Claudia later asked me what my plans were. I was still overcoming my most precious moments on earth, and told her my vague plans plainly. I hadn't really decided on my dates and plans so told her that I would go to Belgium for a bit and then Switzerland and then Netherlands. When I said Amsterdam, Claudia's eyes sparkled and she announced that she was barely 2 hours away from there and that I should come and see her.

I was a few beers down honestly; so I looked at her square in the eye and said.. "I'm a man with no plan woman, if you gonna make an offer.. I just might take it", and I meant it! She asked me to take her mobile number and to message her later with my dates.

Limburg Orange post my Serenade

She was serious. You know the song by P!nk; Glitter in the Air, hear it.. it has a line .. Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside? Few weeks later, I was in Maastricht. A place I had never heard of, with a woman I only met for 5 minutes in Paris. With her gorgeous and intelligent daughter, their adorable dog, in their home and being driven around in her convertible singing songs out loud.

We both are years apart, grew up in different geographies and cultures and yet.... somehow connected so deep and so spiritually that it's hard to explain at all. We walked in the rain and drank wine while she narrated the rich history of the town to me. I joined Claudia for her band practice where kids from the age of 10 were syncing up some wicked classic tunes along with the old chappies.

I can't put my finger on what happened to me after this experience. I... I've changed! When you meet someone with so much trust and unconditional love for an absolute stranger.. what can I say.. it changes you. Inspires you. Ignites you and Illuminates you.

Yes, Paris is romantic. I for sure found true love there and my happy ending with a friend for life, bound together by the strings of music. With all this news about hatred, I found love! And that is what Paris will remind me of for all my life.

Travelling Boots

Some related videos.. :)

Tired Limburg Orange Serenades ME!

The Choir as Sacre Coeur

Eiffel Sparkles!

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My Road to Perdition- Prague to Krakow (Auschwitz) 2

The day had already been a series of unfortunate events. There was a missed train, a cancelled train, no food, no sleep, sores on my hands and a stop over at a haunted hostel on a full moon night. I swear at that moment, standing at the train station of Ostrava again, in my head the scene from the Bollywood movie Jab We Met was playing. Where the lead actress was praying to God to not make this night any more eventful. All I needed was to get to Krakow on a decent seat.

On the train.. and the only place I found to sit!

As the train whirred in, it felt like a never ending chain of bogies. All of us waiting at the station cheered looking at each other saying, "Finally!". A little clueless we all just got in anywhere and since we did not have reservations on this train, we all just got in and groups of friends took up any empty sleepers they found. I kept looking for first class cause my God knows I needed the pampering. I walked across many coaches but couldn’t find the first class nor any official. I reached a connection between two coaches that couldn't open so decided to sit there and wait for the Ticket Checker. We soon stopped at the next station and I popped my head out the door, too scared to step out without knowing how far I would need to walk and may miss the train. I looked around for the men in uniforms, but none of them responded to my asking about the first class. So I just hung on till I would find someone who would understand me and give me some information. I looked around, stared at the board giving details about the next train and the stops for the train I was in, just staring blankly. Tried to pronounce the names of the stations to amuse myself, when it suddenly struck me. Like a bolt of lightning. It did not state Krakow. I totally panicked! I saw a man in orange overalls and just looked at him and pointed to inside the train and yelled, "Krakow?" he looked around, looked at the board and just nodded, "No Krakow". What?? What?? I was in the wrong train??? When was this hell of a day going to be over? So I signalled again to him, "Where Krakow?" And he looked around cluelessly, and pointed to the train across the platform and said, "Krakow!" My eyes searched for confirmation and felt silly cause Krakow was written all across the coaches. I jumped right out and made my way to the train, and as I stood there catching my breath, I panicked again. All those people I had met at Ostrava, all were going to Krakow, and now were sleeping all over the longest train I had seen. I couldn't possibly leave them! But I had a suitcase I couldn’t lug anymore! And didn’t even know when the train would leave! I stood smack in the middle of the platform with all these questions, and finally said to myself, "Chuck it, can't live with the guilt!" I left my suitcase there unattended for anyone to steal and ran all the way back knocking windows waking up everyone looking for the faces I had seen at Ostrava. And making violent gestures begging them to come out with their luggage cause they were on the wrong train. They got up and hurried right out in their PJs and socks and luggage and shoes in their hands.

Once I told them what had happened I got hugged and loved by all and we went into our supposed last and final train to Krakow. Now nothing could go wrong! Wrong!

We finally got food and tears came easy

Remember we didn’t have reservations? Now this was a small train and the uniforms of this train somehow just refused to even acknowledge our presence, forget talk to us or listen to us. So we all just huddled into this 1 coach which had one section of 6 sleepers unoccupied, and waited for the Ticket checker to give us his time and assign us some seats somewhere. We all just sat on the floor of this coach. Tired, hungry, clueless, hopeful. Hopeful that once they heard what we had been through they would help us. I got the place outside the toilet which was locked thankfully. When the train started the Ticket Checker got in and walked right all over us, opened the locked cabin as we looked on like puppies, got in and locked the door and drew the curtain. That’s it! We all just stood there. Completely unable to understand what was happening to us. A bunch of girls who were in their cabin, also saw the whole situation and were as dumbstruck as us. Finally one of them asked me what had happened and why were we on the floor even though there was place in the train and I rambled on and on about the entire day. She didn’t interrupt me! She just kept looking at me and nodding in sympathy. When she finally spoke, she said something that broke me.

The Spanish Angels who fed us

Something I just wasn’t prepared for. She said, "Are you hungry? Do you want some food? We have lots of it!" We had been through such cruelty all day, that when she said the most obvious human thing to say I didn’t know what to say. A little awkward, a little ashamed, and very hesitantly I said, "Umm no! I'm ok" She put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Really, we have lots of it. It's no problem!".

We still found some smiles and sleep

I nodded hard and said, "Yes, yes please I'm very hungry!" No words can explain how I was feeling as these girls spoke to each other in Spanish and started giving me all their food. Packets of chips, water, muffins. One boy even gave his half eaten sandwich apologising and asking if it was ok. Ofcourse it was ok! Tears rolled out of my eyes unstoppably. And as I walked around coach waking all the others on the floor with food in my hands, we all broke down.

We were crying because of kindness. We were smiling at our state and crying at the same time. A system that was meant to help us sat in an over-privileged surrounding while we grovelled for the basics. Much like our societies!

The whole moment was melancholic with a strum of tears and vague smiles. Dawn was breaking. We were crossing Auschwitz (one of the worst concentration camps of the Nazis). We were sprawled over the floors and I was still able to sleep next to the toilet, leaning on its door. A layer of haunted fog over the horizon which had seen some horrid cruelties.

No matter how long the day had lasted, it was over. I had connected with people without knowing where they were from. No matter what background I was coming from, there, in that moment, on that train, we were all just travellers. We were borderless. We all cared for each other. I had found love in a hopeless place. The Swedish couple next to me, shared their stories with me to help pass the time. An onlooker from the other side of the locked coaches, Chris also made conversations to help us feel better. I was bruised and battered. But my soul was enriched. Enriched with random acts of kindness all through the day. I was stronger than what I had thought. People were still nice. I had learnt lessons which no school could teach. I knew something in me had changed. Made me better.

The dawn breaking at Auschwitz

My Road to Perdition- Prague to Krakow (Auschwitz) 1

Perdition means hell, doom or destruction.

Well my journey wasn't as dramatic but while those 24 hours are something I am proud of today, that day.. That particular day, there were a series of unfortunate events that made the day longer than the usual. It both shook up my belief in humanity and restored it in ways one can only experience and not fathom.

It was a usual day, I left from my Airbnb apartment in Prague and my lovely hostess had offered to drop me to the station. We just about made it in time and as I dashed through the crowds with a certain confidence but I was up for a surprise. I knew the track number my train was to come on but, there were no clear indications of platform numbers. No they were not sequential. So, I asked the uniforms but apparently either they didn't understand what I was asking or they didn't know too. When I finally met an old man who offered to help me, he looked at the time and simply started running towards the platform with my big blue suitcase and I simply ran after him. There were no lifts or escalators on this station so without asking or offering he looked at me and just picked up my suitcase and started running up the steps. I kept saying thank you, thank you, god bless you while he came to a slow stop as he reached the top of the steps and we both saw the train get away from us in slow motion. We both just kept looking at the tracks and each other with shock, awe and smiles. We walked down together as he showed me where the information counter was and before I could even pull out my phone to take is name he was gone. Just gone! As if God had sent him in my life only for this task and once it was done he was to disappear.

At the Station at Prague

Travelling makes you a very positive person. I have learnt how to not dwell on the problem but start thinking of the next best plans. I mean what's done is done and our crying can't make it better can it? But thinking of ways to get out or get over it, feel like the right way to me. So I played a happy song and walked to the information counter, cause I knew it was now going to be an adventure. The next train was at 1:40 pm, with 2 changes at Ostrava and Katowice. So happy and positive me found a good spot on the floor at the station, got myself a burger, put on my tunes, found a free internet connection and chilled on the station. I helped some people who asked for directions and shared smiles while I was lost in my music. I knew everything will be alright!

Cervenka Station

Time came, I made my way to my assigned bogie and soon I was served champagne in the first class and life was good! Lost in my music, I was disturbed by a certain commotion on the train and the ticket checker asking everyone where they had to get off. When I said Ostrava, he said keep sitting. Apparently some train had caught fire on the tracks ahead of us so we had stopped for a bit. I saw the time; I had 15 minutes at Ostrava to swap trains and head to Katowice. We were already 10 minutes behind time, so again the positive me was thinking "There are too many of us, they are bound to make alternate arrangements for all of us.. so why Panic?" In about half hour, we were told to get off at the station we had paused at. The uniforms were going to organise buses for all of us to go to the closest station and then board trains to Ostrava. We were told that we could only get information from there now. So we waited; a hundred of us soon became hundreds of us at this small little station in the middle of nowhere called Cervenka. We waited for almost 2 hours and then buses started coming and though there was method to the madness, I could not board the first 2. Finally succeeded in my 3rd attempt and got on the bus.

It was a long drive but the girl sitting next to me made time fly. A simpleton, mother of two girls who was going to be without her daughters for the first time. She was so nervous and anxious, but as I comforted her with thoughts of books she could read and all the ME time she would get as she pointed out to her house beyond the church in the fields, her tensed body became more calm and relaxed.

We reached the next station and all got on the train headed to Ostrava. I was sure there were gonna be arrangements there.

Ostrava - The church next to my hotel

OSTRAVA, Ostrava did not have any escalators. Let me remind you we all had been without food since about 2 pm and it was 7:30 pm now. Tired and exhausted I dragged myself with my suitcase up some 50 steps and down 50 steps to get to the reception and ask for next steps to get to Krakow. The lady hit the keys on the keyboard and after a few sighs and nods to herself, she gave me slips of paper and asked me to rush for the next train back on the platform. It was past 8 and the train was at 8:30 pm. So I picked up my suitcase and went up 50 steps and down 50 steps and waited for the train. I HAD to catch this train to Katowice, to take my last connecting train to Krakow at 9. And as I stood alone at that platform staring at the tracks and time, I heard the announcement through the cacophony of freight trains that the train was cancelled. In utter disbelief, I once again, went up 50 steps and down 50 steps with my luggage, back to the lady at the reception and waited for my turn in the queue.

I looked at her and something inside me gave up. No, I wasn't scared. I think I was just fatigued and hungry and had sores on my hands. My back and leg was aching beyond belief. I looked at her and just said, "Do you realise we all are having a hard day? Could you not have just checked if the train was cancelled in a station where there are no escalators?" And I didn't realise but tears started streaming down my face and suddenly I had the empathy of all fellow travellers, who started screaming at her in different languages while I kept repeating I was just tired. Thomas and his friend, another 2 guys on a Eurotrip like me, comforted me and said, "Come let's pick up a beer and figure out what to do.Let's eats something first". As we walked slowly towards the only shop selling sandwiches and drinks, the guy there; BAM shut the door in our faces, showing us the time on his cheap watch. It was past 9 and the shop shut at 9. We 3 stood there shell shocked! There was all this food infront of us and we had the money but…. no humanity. We just wanted food.

At this weak moment I called my brothers and asked them to just get me out of here, anyhow. I wouldn't dare let them know I was crying but I think they figured. Within moments, they had booked me in a hostel 400 mts from the station. Moravia Ostrava; for Rs.800. single room with breakfast. My Blessings, My Brothers! So with all the energy left in my tired body I dragged myself through the dead silent streets of Ostrava to my hostel.

I met George here. An old, frail man with long hair. His wrinkles were somehow filled with stories. I knew he was interesting the moment I met him. I sat at the dim lit reception doing my check in formalities and telling him my ordeals of the day and he made notes cause he wanted to write to the authorities about it. My room was on the third floor. It was too late to get any food, so I requested George to get me some coke so I could knock myself out with a drink for a few hours before deciding on what to do next. I had the option of taking the all night train from Ostrava station at about 2 am or sleep all night and figure what to do in the morning. As we walked up the stairs, to this almost shady hostel, George took it upon himself to educate me about the place. Bad decision! It was almost 100 years old with a haunted history. Yup! You read it! The hostel was haunted! With 2 ghosts of women. Who walked around the corridors. So again, silly me thought, I'll just get in my room, take a shower, have a drink and sleep. Not step out in the corridor AT ALL. Right? Wrong! It was a room for Rs. 800/- Room. Just Room! The bath and toilets were communal. Which now meant I would HAVE to step out of my room. I remember sing out loud while taking the shower cause I was just so scared that I didn't want to hear any sounds outside my door. But the decision to take the night train became obvious.

My Hotel and room at Ostrava

Ofcourse I didn't get any sleep! Waited till 1 am and praying hard I stepped out into the corridor and walked down the steps to get to the station. Now you must know that motion sensory lights are only cool sometimes. In a place known to be haunted, they are creepy like hell. As I was approaching the ground floor and the lights came on, I saw a man's body waiting for me. I screamed out loud! George had decided to help me with my luggage till the station. So kind of him but scared the BBBBJESUS out of me to say the least.

As we walked the cold, lonely road to the station he kept talking about how he felt a connection with me, cause it was a full moon night and he had felt a lot of movement in the spirit world that night. I can't begin to tell you how I had the strongest urge to run away screaming my lungs out and didn't. But he was still warm inspite of his cold conversation. It was wonderfully kind of him to help me.

When we reached the platform, I was relieved for more reasons than one. I saw Thomas and his friend Zeger again, and some more familiar people, and we all were finally going to be heading to Krakow.

The worst was yet to come!

Wait for part 2 :)

Travelling Boots

Sri Lanka- No Strangers Here! Part 2

It was Christmas! My Christmas Morning in Sri Lanka and I had decided to treat myself to a day in the wild. My cab driver was to come and pick me up at 5 am so I had decided to stay up all night with the girls, pub hopping. So Belinda, Eva, Inma and I partied the night away.

My cabbie was a man named Tissa, who was referred to me by Deepak. Deepak and I used to study together in college and when I had updated my status on FB asking for advice on Sri Lanka, he had connected me to this very tech savvy driver. Tissa was contactable on mail and helpful and resourceful enough to not only help me plan my trip but also get me the required discounts and get me through long queues.

Tissa arrived on-time and soon we were on our way. It was supposed to be a 3 hour long drive to Yala National Park. I slept almost instantly in the back seat. When I woke up it was past 10 am and we were still en-route. Tissa updated me that since it had been raining cats and dogs and dragons we were wayyy behind schedule. But he had planned and co-ordinated with the safari guy at the Park to manage accordingly. We reached Yala at about 11 and after a quick coffee and sandwich we were ready to go explore the WILD!

Yala National Park

Yala is known for Leopards and boy was I excited. But nature had completely different plans laid out for me. In my travels; I ensure I hit every and any preserves or zoos I can. I had been very lucky with spottings of the wild beasts everywhere and ofcourse was hoping for the same. I had imagined and hoped I'd get to see a leopard on a tree branch like they show on Discovery.

My ranger arrived soon and the great news was that I was the only passenger in his truck! Anyone who has been on a safari would understand... this is the best thing to happen! This meant I could ask him to stop anywhere for as long as I'd like without feeling guilty for the rest of the passengers. I was elated! It looked like a promising day. In my previous travels, I had seen almost all the wild cats except leopards and just couldn't wait. However, in all my excitement I was oblivious to the fact that it had been raining... Raining! Raining since morning!!

We drove around for hours, with zero visibility and incessant rain and windows rolled up and wet and cold and a driving path with only muddy waters and slush. Hours! Wasted! My ranger did show me pigs... and I said I'm from India dude. Then he showed me some buffaloes and I again said I'm from India dude. Same for a drenched peacock. I think I was so bored that I recall being excited about seeing one.. just one... only one elephant! But soon again; looked at my still determined ranger and said.. I'm from India dude!

I was cold, I was wet, I was hungry by the time we got back to the base. I promptly jumped into Tissa's car and requested to take me to a small shack for some freshly prepared hot and spicy food! It's a very Indian thing to eat something hot and spicy and unhealthy when it rains. I had to feel satiated somehow!

Tissa took me to just the place! A small shabby family run shack! I requested for the best local meal. The food and service that followed... was overwhelming to say the least! I had the grandfather, father and a couple of aunts I believe stand in attention; watching everything I was doing and aching  for my approving reactions.  The simple fish-curry-rice request came with over nine options. I looked at them awkwardly while I ensured I was trying to make them feel as special too. But what a heart warming experience for a cold cold day!

Everyone at home had had an equally dull day being in house arrest due to rains. Belinda, Jose, Sergio, Inma, Eva and I went for dinner gloomily and ate at an Italian restaurant with decent food but grumpy owner!

Christmas was over and Jose, Sergio and my darling and affectionate Inma were leaving the next day.

The next day. The 26th of December. I was in Hikkaduwa on the 10th anniversary of the Tsunami. There is a local tradition in Hikkaduwa; where the surfers would swim deep into the sea and form a circle to offer prayers to all the departed.

The Surfer's offering prayers in Hikkaduwa for Tsunami victims

All of us got up got ready and headed for the beach at sharp 9 am. There was complete silence on the beach. A sea of people; mostly expats; just staring at the sea. Silently. Some of them in tears, some of them lost in thought, leaning over someone and some just sitting still on the beach. It was amazing how the same beach where all of us had partied all night the previous night could look so different today. We all stood still too.. I held on to Belinda's hand. Not a sound except the gushing of the unforgiving waves.

None of us knew a word like Tsunami till that day 10 years ago. And after having seen the photo museum and hear the stories and yet be facing the same waters; I think I felt myself change. The people we lost to the Tsunami, were not my friends; they were not my family; but I cared. And I was mourning them. One of my traveller friend had once explained that it is one thing to know a place by reading about it or surfing the net about it. You can only make one of your senses enjoy that place. But when you are there... when you travel.. you allow all your senses to indulge in that space and experience it by the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the touch. But here I stood with my heart and mind drowned in sorrow like never before. I had seen the news when it happened and ofcourse felt bad, but this was different. I felt different.

I saw some people crying while I tried to fight my own tears and strangers would come and hold them for a bit. Not a word exchanged. No stories asked. Just support and being there and hugging them close. This was the most unreal thing.. experience.. emotion I had ever felt! Unity in tragedy by just being human! No money, no words, no plans could or would have comforted like just a hug! While I sit and write about that day; today; I wish we all hug more! Hugs are therapeutic to the wounded souls! And there is no better feeling to be hugged purely!

Saying bye to my Spanish friends

We bid an emotional bye to Jose, Sergio and Inma. And Belinda then dropped me off to the beach where I could snorkel and swim with the turtles. A good way to get over the heaviness in my head and heart. I rented the gear and dashed into the cool waters. The reef was instantly bursting with colors and life. Now I have a fear! I can swim and snorkel easily but ummm.. only as long as I know how deep the waters are. And oh as long as no water enters my mouth. Ya.. ya.. judge me all you want.. I have some hang ups man!! So after I had seen some spectacular fish and no turtles, I realised I'd have to go deeper. So I went back to the guy I rented the equipment from and asked him to swim with me just for support if I got uneasy.

So here's what happened... we went in deep and began to see the turtles.. oh what a feeling it was to be so close to these magnificent and only cute reptiles. I was holding the arm of my equipment guy till he then suggested and requested if he could hold me around the back instead cause I was restricting his swim. Sounded reasonable so I sheepishly agreed.. ummm.. only to realise that moments later while I experienced complete excitement to almost touching the turtles; our man here had decided to support and manoeuvre me by gripping my ass!! I shrugged him off immediately assuming it was a slip and continued giving my complete attention to the turtles. Shortly our man tried it again. So here I was in the midst of multiple extreme emotions. Seeing and swimming with turtles, in unknown depths of an ocean that had a history of being violent, controlling and hearing my breathing through the snorkel mask while I'm scared and a man trying to make the best of this vulnerable condition!! Men! Stupid stupid beach boys! I first asked him to take me back to shallow waters cause I could not have screamed or hit him being in the ocean so deep. Gave him a mouthful moment I had my feet on the ground and mask off. And that's all I could do!

Seriously! I don't know what some men are thinking.. or rather why they are not thinking 90% of their time!!

Me with Joy and Belinda

Walked off the beach without a shower. Belinda was picking me up to take me for a boxing day lunch tradition she had with a lady called Joy. We picked a bottle of wine and en-route Belinda told me that it was Joy who had initially looped her into the Tsunami Relief program years ago. That Joy was in fact her version of Mother Teresa.

Joy's home was bright and warm and simple. And Joy herself; oh my god! So warm. So loving. So giving. It was so easy to see the purity in her soul. She sat with me asking about me and said things to me that I will remember forever. It was like she could see my soul as easily as I saw hers. Many people came for the lunch and the food was beautiful. Some travel stories exchanged and Belinda and I headed back to the beach for another swim.

Once we got there and started talking that we forgot about the waters and spoke for hours. We spoke about every facet of our lives and even though we had just met and she was merely my airbnb host, we had become friends. And spoke like long lost girlfriends who had met after years. We both got dressed later in the evening and went clubbing to celebrate my last night in Hikkaduwa.

The gorgeous beaches of Hikkaduwa, Galle, Sri Lanka

I had a flight back the next night and had asked Tissa to plan my day and take me around Kandy area. And Boy; is he a planner!? We drove for a few hours and reached Pinnawala, Elephant Orphanage. You can get a 50% off on tickets with your Indian Passport. Tissa did his magic and helped me avoid the long queue. And soon I was inside the elephant haven. The whole family standing together and being friendly to all visitors. You can feed the baby elephants with milk too if you will.

But, while I went close to the baby elephant and the care takers offered to click my pictures; I think I stood next to the naughtiest of em all! The baby started with playing with my stole, and that was cute and I was thinking this will make a great picture. Then.. he started nudging on my shorts.. and I pretended to be playful and try push him away... but soon he had gotten a complete grip of my shorts in his trunk and was pulling hard. You read me? He was pulling hard with his trunk on my shorts.. embarrassment came wayyyy later. And while I struggled with thoughts of being killed my a baby elephant and hollering for help, the crowd and the helpers stood laughing and taking pictures and making videos. Yes, it sounds and may have seemed funny for everyone, but you ask me?? It wasn't funny being the object of desire to an elephant I promise you!

The place has free tours of how elephant dung is converted to paper which you could check out. Next stop was a tea factory where they show you the processing of tea leaves to various types of teas. One can and must purchase the exquisite teas from these factories.

Sri Lanka is also known for its spices so we made a quick stop at a Spice Garden where they take you on a tour to educate you on various plants and some of the stuff is pretty incredible. They also have absolutely natural oils and potions for various ailments.

My last stop was going to be at Kandy, at the Temple of the Tooth. It holds a tooth of Gautam Buddha. The temple is spread out and has a glorious ceremony in the evenings and the walls are full of paintings depicting the entire history of the tooth and the temple. The temple is very important politically and historically and is amazingly peaceful inspite of the large number of visitors. And unlike Colombo, this temple was full of monks ready to help and guide.

Sri Lanka had been full of surprises for me. I made friends I'll cherish forever, I saw people working for improving a place even though this wasn't their own country, I met people who inspired me, I partied hard, touched nature, swam with the turtles, cried for people I never knew and came home with memories of a lifetime!

One stranger less.. Thank you Airbnb!

This is ELLL AAAA maaan! - Los Angeles!

So my last stop in America was supposed to be LA. I was spending the most amount of time here because I wanted to just sit back and relax here. And as you will read and laugh about each and every interaction you will realise, I should have never done LA.

So the first night I landed in LA and took the cab for Hollywood and Vine; yup, that's where I had got myself a gorgeous loft and could not be happier living ON the Hollywood Boulevard. As I entered the city I had already seen cops arrest some African American but the cab was moving too fast for me to capture the moment as a tourist. This was the first time I was seeing an arrest with the guy's head put on the trunk of the car and the cops handcuffing him. To be honest, it was more scary than exciting, but we quickly moved past it and I entered the heavenly zones of the Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard. And the roads lit up with lights and colour and all the familiar names of to-dos and to-sees. From the bus tours to the big flashy theatres, a million souvenir shops, the comedy club pubs everything was there. And I was living right here... You can't imagine my excitement! As in my head I thought.. no more busses and trains, I'll just walk everywhere.. I'm living on the Hollywood Boulevard in LA!!! This was where all the action was!!

My landlord was a no show for the first night, which was very uncomfortable cause he had left his entire house open... like all doors and drawers open and I was there.. a person he just did not know. Did he not consider I could have been a wierdo, oh wait... what if he was?? What if there were cameras all over?? I checked every mirror, every corner before I changed I promise, place  looked clean and yet I did all the changing girls hostel style... well which means the girls always have something on and we struggle our way through clothes and exchange them rather than change... ask the women.... we all can do it :) I'd rather always be safe than sorry I say :)

The Hard Rock Cafe!

It was about dinner time so I thought I'll take a stroll along the Boulevard and pick up pamphlets to plan my next day and grab a meal and souvenir at the Hard Rock Cafe. So; dressed up pretty and walked along picking up brochures and making mental plans. Most friends often ask me, don't I get bored alone... And the truth is.. well cause you are responsible for your own fun you are mostly really really busy planning it and then living it... its only at restaurants that you could imagine being awkward but if you are a single woman travelling; people are generally really nice to you, like the gorgeous waitress who served me at the Hard Rock. She was a professional dancer struggling in LA and played my body guard against all the men who were trying to ask about me. When a man walked up to me to hold a conversation, she was there in moments to rescue me and tell the man I was not to be disturbed very assertively. She was fierce!

The reality of LA did not hit me till I was walking back home. It was barely about 10:30 pm and it was a 20 minute walk, when suddenly an old man started calling out to me, he was a homeless man and kept calling me by some name and walking hurriedly towards me, I started walking faster and so did he... before I knew it I was so scared I started running and entered the first restaurant I could see. My friend had long ago told me, if someone starts to follow you always head for a hotel or restaurant.. Good advice! I entered the restaurant with a dash as the hostess walked towards me awkwardly saying her repetitive line "Table For...." and I think I held her panting and saying.. "A man.. A man is following me... I didn't know where to go.. Can I wait here for a bit?" Both she and the manager waited with me as they handed me water to help me calm down and watched the crazy man disappear. I had no idea what had just happened? Was I just 'harassed' by a homeless guy in 'America' on the 'Hollywood Boulevard' of LA???? And just then before I could even compose myself and walk without trembling I was passing a club of sorts and few more 'over friendlies' started 'complimenting' me and hooting and.. and.. as they got closer.. I screamed back at them "Please leave me alone or I'll start crying" ... and ran away... Wait... What... What did F%*@ did I just say??? "I'll start crying?????????????" That was my threat????? What the hell was wrong with me??? Who says that???

The strip club from my balcony!

As I dragged my tired feet home; I was almost banging the door of the apartment building and begging the lady at the reception to let me in.. and the moment she let me in I broke down and cried like a baby holding her... I had not had such experiences ever.... even as I had walked around prepared in India; but was so unprepared for this to happen to me in America.. Where was I?? As I sobbed and told my story to the lady she totally knew what I was talking about... and said "Ya... Ummmm.. These homeless people have killed LA, we call them 'bums' and they are all over.. honey you need to keep some pepper spray with you at all times and next time just don't even think... spray anyone who even gets close." 

As I entered the empty new house I was so shaken up that I slept with every door double locked and fighting memories of movies wandering my head.. with the cop car sirens and loud noise coming from the street below, I slept with earphones in my ears that night hoping the next day came with a promise to be bright.

As the alarm rang at 7 30, I stepped into the living area and fixed myself a coffee with some good music on my ipod and as I stepped out in the balcony through a window to feel the sun on my face I was rudely SHOCKED!! My apartment was opposite a strip club which had a huge board outside it with 'fully naked girls here' written in every possible language.. yup.. even Hindi. Amused and embarrassed took a sip of my coffee to realise the milk had gone bad and being in the balcony I had no place to even spit quickly... I was beginning to pray for a better day now.

Santa Monica- And the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co at the back!

Positive me got dressed... picked up a coffee from the Starbucks en-route and made my way to take the bus tours. Met some smiling faces, took pictures, made some old couple friends and the day was gloriously beautiful and as we drove around in the open top bus... I waited.. I waited... I waited to be awestruck... to look at some place.. any place and be like.. "WOW". It... it didn't happen. Saw and stopped at many places.. made a long stop at the Santa Monica Pier too.. but I gotta be honest.. I wasn't dazzled at all. So here is what I think.. unless you are seriously "Star Struck" or something LA is not the place for you.. I mean the pier had Bubba named shrimp shops all over ;being influenced by Forrest Gump.. and oh so did the broad walk in San Francisco, I mean it was a movie for god's sake... we haven't named places where Bollywood movies were shot with the names of characters.. Imagine going to a hill station with all shops and restaurants named Raj or something. I do love the movie.. I loved Forrest Gump and know it by the dialogue but really the only thing people said about Santa Monica to me was.. This is where Forrest ran till and stopped running... ummmm LAME is what I thought.. just me! Yes it was pretty and everything but I really had seen better beaches and crowds.

Anyway.... went on to the most popular Venice Beach from there.. Now this was interesting with basketball courts right next to the beach and a flea market all along the coast with street performers and open restaurants... I walked along the beach for a bit.. posed as a life-guard and walked back to a restaurant.. had a good meal.. picked up some cool shades for like $7 and used a loo with no lights and totally UVed.

There were 2 highlights of my trip to LA, the movie show at the El Capitan where they performed a magic show before they played Maleficent and the only other highlight was Deepali Khanna. She is my elder brother's friend and even though we had never met she was most helpful and warm with every single suggestion she made. Told me exactly what to do and where to go and every piece of advice was perfect including taking the tour buses.

Venice Beach and the $7 sunglasses! :)

Unlike most of USA; LA is not the most well connected city in terms of local transport and the only way to really enjoy it is to have a car of your own really. It's very spread out with little or no connectivity. Had dinner at my landlord's restaurant Wood and Vine, a beautiful, quaint restaurant with lovely service and great cocktails. Uday, my landlord was born and brought up in LA and was a complete gentlemen and ran the restaurant with all his heart.

All LA had to offer in terms of sightseeing was where who lived and died.. the celebrities.. and that was so totally not quenching my thirst. So the next day I decided to visit the 'hot-spots' of LA; desperately hoping to be impressed. So I went to the Melrose Avenue, to check out shops where a pair of sunglasses was for $800 and ate at 'The Ivy Restaurant'. Now to be honest I was hoping that the food and drinks here were going to be out of this world, cause this was a celebrity hang out... but nope.. infact the salad was almost limp and I could barely finish it. The most incredible thing about it.. was the look and feel of the place, I felt I was in Spain with all the flowers and plants around me, the closely laid tables, it was pretty intimate yet private. Now being a solo traveller; I've always requested random strangers to take pictures for me, but the waiters here were more busy standing and waiting and looking around but could not take a minute to take a picture of me. They simply asked me to wait and then forgot. Oh! Another example of their hospitality..?? There was a beautiful bunch of flowers on the table and I requested if I could take just one flower and I was refused.. curtly.. very curtly.

Then walked to the Urth Cafe, also another hotspot, but again the bobba/bubble tea in Australia was way better than what they offered. As I then walked towards the city centre for some shopping the strangest thing happened, an old woman, well dressed walked dead on towards me and said, "Your life is about to change, a big change is coming your way" I must admit I was startled but I knew better by now and I decided to play along and said "Really? How so?" and she said "You will find what you are looking for"

"Be specific, please", and there it was... she says "Keep $20 in my palm and I'll tell you all about it... I simply walked away laughing... and went up to Blooming Dales only to run into her again in the make-up section where she tried all the expensive make up as my sales boy hid me from her... It was hilarious! Bums!!?? LA was full of crazies!!

My last night in LA, I was meeting an old friend... and this turned out to be an absolute night to remember! He had been living there for decades and was in love with LA... no no.. not like you and me love a city or our country he was obsessed with it! And had made it his responsibility to make everyone know it and love it too; so when he asked me how I loved LA.. I being the 'compulsive truther' said "It's alright! I dig history and culture and LA doesn't have much of that... It may be great for party people but I'm not big on that" Oh... My... God!! The rest of the evening he kept telling me how awesome it was here and kept making gestures to 'high-five' him every time he said... 'This is ELLL AAA man' like really every few minutes he would say something and expect me to do it too... 'This is ELLL AAA man'.... I said I was harassed by bums.. and he said see.. "The weather here is so awesome even the homeless love it here... 'This is ELLL AAA man' (high five)" . He raved about how well he was doing and seeing a British girl, and when I asked him her name.. It was an Indian name and with the confused look on my face he figured he had to explain..and said ya she is 'Gujju' but born in UK you know.... I swear if you in my head that evening you would do one of two things... hold your head in your hands or just be gaping rudely... After raving for 15 minutes on how well he was doing he almost stupidly looked at me and said "Hope you are getting the next round.." I had had enough by then and blurted out... "Honey, if I can travel the world and live in fancy hotels and apartments, I sure can buy you a drink, in-fact why don't you sit pretty, I'll take the tab" and he went on to explain, "You know this is how we work in US man.. everyone splits... It's not like India.." It was my turn now... I had heard so much of his pseudo non-sense that talking about India like he knew it when he had no clue.. was the last straw! I don't get it.. Why do all these people who had recently (ya even 10-15 years is recent) moved to US become such wannabes and desperate to blend in with the locals that they would follow everything without using any rationale... So desperate to become a 'New Yorker' or from LA!!?? Yes, here in India also, when I meet the friends I regularly hang out with.. we all split the bill but when we meet someone who is meeting us after decades in our town its almost nice and hospitable to take the tab.. Even my British friends do that! Infact when they met me after only 6 months they even got gifts for me (Thanks Victoria!) Anyone who can travel abroad for a vacation can sure buy stuff for themselves, it's not like I needed him to buy it but the audacity to demand it and assume I'm from some backward village who doesn't understand how the cool world of equality works was simply pushing it..

He did take me to a few cool places, and split after he got the message that this wasn't fun at the Chateau Marmont. Met a funny bouncer there and I was so full of negativity by the time he left that when the bouncer looked at me and asked.. bad night... I just rattled away about his stupid 'high-fiving' and he said the funniest thing.. said.. "Oh! Oh ya, I do that too all the time.. especially after sex.. you know like this was good.. and we like high-five" I laughed out loud... and said.. "That's a mental picture I won't forget man" and I haven't...!

Next day I was leaving for home, and I'd had a million awesome moments in my time in US and even though LA wasn't even close to the human interactions I had in all other parts, it was alive... and people who lived there could not dream of leaving it..

Travel teaches you a lot about yourselves, and there is more to learn from bad experiences than the good ones.. I always say.. good times may make you re-inforce what you like but the bad experiences teach you what you don't like and are not ok with. I wasn't OK with someone... talking down about my country and assuming they were superior beings because of a geographic difference. I wasn't ok with a city like LA.

Permissions.. Oppressions... and We the Women

It all really started at a friend's house-warming; a young girl asked me what I did and I said I had quit my job this January to travel the world quite plainly. And she; cutely fluttered her maskara filled pretty eyes and said, "Oh Wow!! Where All? With your husband or like with friends??" 

And I casually said... "Oh! Alone! Umm.. just me!"
There was complete disbelief in her big eyes and gaping through her neat fringe she immediately clarified.. "Just you??".. and awkward pause.. "And your husband allowed it??"
I wasn't prepared; I had started socializing only lately and all whose company I was mostly in were not surprised with my plans at all. So I paused; pulled back a little in the sofa I was and said "Well ya.. Why won't he??" and felt an uncontrollable compulsion to explain... "Well he knows I like to travel.. You know.. And so ya he is totally supportive and stuff..." and I kept rambling for several moments and she kept looking.. and listening intently like somewhere I was gonna tell her the secret of how I managed to what I was doing with my husband and family. But I couldn't.

We all have multiple conversations with many people in get togethers but rarely do people ever ponder over them once we get home right? We mostly say, "Ya good night... nice conversations". But while she had ended her night with a "You're my inspiration!" I had come back to an empty house with one statement from her; "Did your husband allow it?"
Hmmmm... Did he allow it? Did he?? Well in retrospect I hadn't really asked... like at all. We did have a conversation around budgets about it and I had made it clear that I could afford it... but that was really it. I hadn't asked.. and he hadn't refused. My husband is my friend and a well travelled man, and trusts me. And it is this trust that keeps me grounded.

I don't judge myself as one of the modern girls in the conventional sense. I'm traditional, I love my parents and in-laws alike, I work hard, I hardly go out, there are a million things I don't do, I take care of me, my in-laws love me and my father in law is one of my best friends, I make my family proud, haven't done anything to shame them... so ya... I'm alrite!

But I am different, I have been lucky enough to travel and see other cultures and respect what I could understand. And observe us women in all I had seen.

I often tell my friends how my mind is like Ally McBeal's and while the world goes on in a normal way there is a whole different tangent going on in my head and I string thoughts and situations together like one normally wouldn't I guess.

I began to tear the hair and wonder why did someone think it was important for me to seek permission? Why and how was this almost a sign of oppression for me? Was I so different? And several thoughts started stringing together.

I am a girl and just like any other girl I love to dress up and put efforts to feel good about myself. I truly don't think it's the pressure of society or beauty magazines but just something only our sex totally enjoys. We love to mix and match and be melodramatic. And guess what; it's a global phenomenon!! From the colourful dupattas of our villages to the nets and lace of the Arab world to the cuts and fits of New York. And I'm pretty sure none of us do so to be oppressed in any way. When we are bending close to the mirrors to get our kajal right; our eyes are full of hope that we would feel good about ourselves n we would find someone who would love us for us and not want to change us. Then what had happened along the way?

Why was this happening?? Why were we seeking permissions? Why were we constantly explaining ourselves? Why the sex crimes in India?? Why did the cool, young, independent designer girl feel that I needed permission? To simply travel???

The girl's question made me reflect on how we women had allowed the men in our lives; fathers, brothers, lovers, husbands to have the authority to permit us to live our lives as we pleased. Why did we do that?? Why were we still doing that? I agree there were not many solo travellers in the world but I'm sure they all had discussions about their dreams and pursuing them but can't imagine permissions. Like the iconic scene from DDLJ...'Jaa Simran jaa... Jeele apni zindagi". And then.. just like that it hit me!

It's not just the men who were to be blamed. No. No. It wasn't. We were to be blamed equally or even a little more I'd imagine.
The reason why I always felt comfortable wearing anything and going for a movie alone in England or many other western countries at any time was because at sometime women had changed how they allowed men to treat them in their societies and also how they accepted and supported each other through their tough decisions like separations or divorces or molestation.
Men are men everywhere, geographies don't change sexual behaviour or psychology. They will take whatever you can give. But we women, when we ignore when a man stares at us for a minute too long and look away or get busy...? We have allowed him to repeat.
When we women walk away faster digging our eyes in our feet, when we hear a lewd comment instead of turning around and reacting like any other human would, we have allowed them to repeat. 
When our men hit us and we forgive them; we have allowed them to do it over and over again.
When we let them tell us how to dress instead of teaching their own kind that being dis-respectable to women is uncool we had allowed them to oppress us and rule us. 
When we judge our own sisters and blame them for the pain they go through and say 'You shouldn't have been out late" or gossip "Have you seen what she wears" we are making us weaker.

It was when we; the women; had killed something inside us, looked down and away and said 'Ok' when we actually wanted to scream 'No' or 'Not Ok' that they felt we were ok with anything they would put us through.
And it is when we seek permission inspite of being educated and independent instead of talking about it like one human to another that we become dependent and hence the weaker sex by choice which is truly dependent. Let's talk about it, address it, face it, refuse it, debate it.

I am guilty of it too. I also have felt the need to explain myself several times as being normal and a nice girl to justify my being different and accepted and respected just because I'm a good wife or daughter in law.
I say enough of blaming men and governments and playing victims. We take our own responsibility and stop waiting to be rescued and create our own solution, be the corrector and the truly stronger, fairer sex, cause we just really are!